Today has been a rough day to say the least.

Today we had to put my dog of 13 years down. Her name was Kisses. It hurts unimaginably to lose someone. I know this very well already as I've already lost my father and another dog previous. But it all comes back at you when it happens again. I loved her so very much and I couldn't stand to watch her suffer the way she was. I wouldn't be a proper owner if I did that.

I got Kisses from a Schipperke breeder when I was 8 years old. My father had picked her out because of her outgoing nature. He was the one who named her, because she was full of love and Kisses. I still remember taking her home in the car and how excited and full of life she was. Up until the end she was exactly like that. Happy, excited, and full to the brim with life. She had her bad points sure; she Barked alot, peed on expensive carpets, and was a helluva a food thief. But a sweeter nature would be hard to find, she loved everybody and everybody loved her, she never bit a single soul her entire life.

She loved to run and chase things (geese and our cats mostly), try fruits and veggies and all kinds of food, sleep on her back, twitch her toes and snore, yodel and bounce when she wanted to play, and was always wonderful to hug. She would look at you and she would smile her eyes would just glow and you just see yourself reflected back as the most importent person in the universe.

She went downhill very quickly, she couldn't hold down food anymore and was getting progressivly worse. We couldn't figure out why though and niether could the vet. We finally took her to the emergency room for a biopsy but they did an ultrasound first.

She had cancer.

My baby of 13 years had stomach cancer and it had spread to her intestines and her lymphnodes. There was no treatment available to her anymore. She wouldn't be able to hold down water soon. She was doomed to slowly but surely starve to death. I didn't want to hear that. Of all the things that could've been wrong I wish to God above it wasn't that.

But it was. And I had a choice. To let that light slowly go out of her eyes or end it as quickly as possible.

I chose the latter. But the next day Kisses was even worse. I had wanted to spend one last day with her, but that night she had started vomiting blood, since she had nothing left in her stomach. She looked haggard and so tired completely unlike herself. It was clear she wasn't going to even live through the day. So this morning at 11:00 we took her in to the vet's, and me and my mother stayed with her as they put her down.

I wish I could say it was painless, but she had so little body mass by that point we think the injection might of struck a bone. So she cried when they gave it to her and I wanted to die right along with her at that moment. But thank God she didn't linger after that, she went quickly, and we were with her till the end.

She had a good long life. Though I wish it were longer. But theres a hole in my life right now, where she used to be. No one barking to greet me at the door. no walks at night, no furry black lump in my bed and no clicking toe nails against the floor. She is a memory now. Like many others I've had in my life. But at the very least I can look back on her fondly and know she was loved just as much a dog should be. And as much as I loved her I know it was reciprocated thricefold.

If you're reading this right now, hug your dog, You'll be glad that you did.